The Truth Behind Mel Ramsden’s Secret Painting / by Adele Schelling

“The content of this painting is invisible; the character and dimension of the content are to be kept permanently secret, known only to the artist.” 

Mel Ramsden experienced a nervous breakdown upon realizing that the contents of his secret painting were not only unknown to the public, but to himself as well. Hopeful at the start, he tried performing various mind tricks in order to coax meaning out of the stubborn canvas, which included feigning indifference by hiding behind a paint pot to extravagant bribes and blackmail, threatening to expose its painted surface to bright neon lights, causing an unflattering tan line. After many failed attempts at finding meaning in his piece, he decided to retreat to his water bed for a year to improve his butterfly swimming technique.